Seeing this woman alone with her thoughts was enough to
bring me back to a real a reality as one could - under
these bizarre conditions. I was in the presence of a
person - a real, live human person. She awoke from her nap
and began talking to herself. No one around. No one to
censor her. Just the blue sky and the mountains and the
quiet - the unbelievable quiet of the place.
She was having quite an animated conversation with herself,
no, with someone else. She was forceful with this other
person. Not angry. But firm. Telling him or her just
what was what.
And she seemed quite pleased with herself. She really had
the upper hand. And she liked having the upper hand.
The beautiful human-ness before me was enough to make me
think of my own human-ness. I am a person. Not a freak.
Not mad. Not a Kafka-esque metamorphosic me.
I am a human being.
AND I HAVE A NAME!
Xavier Cugat Johnson.
AND I HAVE A HOME TOWN!
Fresno, California.
Fresno. Fresno. Fresno. San Juaquin Valley. Sixty miles
above Bakersfield. Near Yosemite. And just at the start
of the Sierra Mountains = at the foot of the road that
carries you up to Shaver Lake, EDison Lake and Huntington
Lake - up to 10,000 feet before heading down to 395 along
the bottom of the Western Sierras.
"But how do I *know* that?" i asked myself, out loud. "How
do I know that?"
I said it loud enough for the talking lady to hear me. She
turned and looked right at me. There was no fear in her
eyes. Just a softness, an incredible warm and caressing
softness.